Blog Capsule

Alright, here's the deal. I will be gone for the next 2 months. Don't fret, I'll be back on May 1st. However, due to my lack of internet access and really any type of media access, I will not be able to update my blog, check my blog, or even get basic news. Due to this fact, I am creating a blog capsule. Basically, the concept is that I will write down all sorts of current information. When I get back in 2 months, I will read this blog capsule and laugh at how foolish I, and everybody else was back 2 months ago. I will also make some key predictions, which I fully anticipate will come true in the near future (the next 2 months). Here are some current facts, true as of February 24th, 2009:

• President Obama’s approval rating is 59%.
• There are talks of temporarily “nationalizing” the US banking system.
• The cheapest gas in Watertown/Fort Drum is $2.05 at the on-post gas station.
• The price of GM stock is $2.22 per share.
• The price of Bank of America stock is $4.73 per share.
• The DOW stands at 7,350.94.
• The Blazers are currently holding the 5th spot in the west, at 35-21.
• Greg Oden is out 2 more games and Martell Webster is out for the season.
• All other Blazers are healthy.
• The top TV show in America is American Idol with 24.825 million weekly viewers.
• New England bats are dying by the thousands due to a mysterious white fungus.
• There is snow on the ground outside, 3 or 4 feet in some places.
• The current temperature in Sackets Harbor is 18 degrees.
• The cheapest netbook at BestBuy costs $240.
• I am healthy and have no broken bones or sprains.
• My current weight is 184 lbs.
• I don’t have a Ranger Tab.

Here are some key predictions that will be true upon my return on or after May 1st:

• Bats will be extinct.
• GM stock will soar with news of their mass production of flying cars.
• Gasoline prices will hit record lows with the discovery human fat can be refined to make a high-grade octane.
• Exxon-Mobile will begin paying people to have liposuction, thus eliminating obesity, and putting Jared from Subway out of work.
• Kelly Ripa will just get hotter.
• American audiences will be stunned when Simon Cowell declares himself the next American Idol.
• "Lent" will finally be renamed "Lint", thus clearing up a lot of confusion.
• The Blazers will win the rest of their games, but will still finish second behind the Lakers, despite their losing every player except Luke Walton.
• Freedom of Speech will be declared unconstitutional, as the commies move into power.
• Sprint will reach deep into the jungles of Africa to recruit chimpanzees for their customer service hotline, which reportedly can do twice the work as humans, due to their ability to use their feet hands.
• The hockey season will be cancelled due to global warming.
• I will have 3 broken toes and 1 broken spirit.
• I will weigh in at 153 lbs.
• I will have a Ranger Tab.

Upon my return, I will crack open this blog capsule and see how much of it has come true (probably not much) and how much is complete garbage (likely the majority). I hope everybody has a great March and April. Peace!