Back From The Dead

I got back to New York late last night. 2 hours later than expected, actually. Ranger School really wasn't at all like I thought it would be, but then again, I guess nothing ever is. Tornadoes and golf-ball sized hail tore through Ft. Benning and the rest of Georgia the week before I left. Smashed car windshields and overturned outhouses were not an uncommon sight. But that's all behind me now. Much farther south.

I lost about 20 pounds, but have gained it all back. I feel like I have been eating constantly. My food regulator is broken or buried beneath weeks of 2-meal-days, and MREs to boot. I am polishing off a package of Keebler EL Fudge cookies and a venti caramel macciato-however-you-spell-that from Starbucks. I learned how to count calories...the opposite of how most people do. Most dieters are so concerned with calorie intake that they go to the extreme of measuring foods into exact serving sizes or buying Nabisco 100 calorie packs. I was eating about 2500 calories a day and burning about 3500, thus losing weight. I learned how to be a shrewd MRE dealer. Skittles have 250 calories and vanilla dairyshakes have 460. You've got to find that guy that absolutely loves Skittles, make the swap, and bam, that's 200 more calories than you had before. Now you have all kinds of energy, while Skittle guy is struggling to kick it up the hill.

Much of my last month was spent in the mountains of Northern Georgia. The Appalachian Trail cuts right through the mountains of Northern Georgia. I say mountains, but really they are more like hills. We would go up and down 3 or 4 of them in one day. The funny part is, we shared the Appalachian Trial with civilian hikers. They would be relaxing around their warm camp fire around 9pm, settling in for a nice, long 5-plus hours of sleep. My Ranger buddies and I, on the other hand, are cold, dirty, stinky, and still have an ambush to set up at the top of the next hill. So in other words, no sleep until 3am, with a 430 wake-up. but I laugh to myself, because I'm pretty sure these Marmot/Merrill-wearing hikers only have granola and rice to look forward to. And I have a dairyshake. And Skittle guy has Skittles, if he hasn't eaten them yet.

My fingers are still numb. It's colder than you might think in the hills of Northern Georgia. But that isn't the reason my extremities have lost feeling. The real reason is that wasn't drinking the 8 daily quarts of water required to maintain regular circulation while sweating profusely. Also, my 80-pound ruck sack partially cut off circulation to my arms and fingers. It was really only 80 pounds if I had to carry the m240b ammunition or tripod. Both add a significant amount weight to what would otherwise be a much more sustainable burden. Water is the other weight-adder. I would always try to ditch weight any way that I could. This usually meant dumping water or just not filling canteens. It is much more difficult to ditch rounds and impossible to get rid of that frickin tripod. The only way to shed rounds is, when afforded the opportunity, to completely unload the 240 ammo, in hopes of depleting the supply. This also proved to be a pleasant little bonus, because on those cold and rainy nights, when the 240 is unloading 1000 rounds within a period of a few minutes, it tends to heat about a 10 foot radius. So at least for a few minutes, I would bask in the heat of the 240 and in the glow of its barrel, which usually means it's time for barrel change.

Anyway, I think I'm going to get a kayak. I found a decent on today for $500. It's either that or a bike. I'm still deciding. It's 60 degrees and blue skies here, so I need to seize the carp. That's it for now. By the way, go Blazers. Other than that, that's all I have. Peace for now!

Update

I'm not dead yet. I'm 1/3 of the way through. On to Mountain Phase!

Blog Capsule

Alright, here's the deal. I will be gone for the next 2 months. Don't fret, I'll be back on May 1st. However, due to my lack of internet access and really any type of media access, I will not be able to update my blog, check my blog, or even get basic news. Due to this fact, I am creating a blog capsule. Basically, the concept is that I will write down all sorts of current information. When I get back in 2 months, I will read this blog capsule and laugh at how foolish I, and everybody else was back 2 months ago. I will also make some key predictions, which I fully anticipate will come true in the near future (the next 2 months). Here are some current facts, true as of February 24th, 2009:

• President Obama’s approval rating is 59%.
• There are talks of temporarily “nationalizing” the US banking system.
• The cheapest gas in Watertown/Fort Drum is $2.05 at the on-post gas station.
• The price of GM stock is $2.22 per share.
• The price of Bank of America stock is $4.73 per share.
• The DOW stands at 7,350.94.
• The Blazers are currently holding the 5th spot in the west, at 35-21.
• Greg Oden is out 2 more games and Martell Webster is out for the season.
• All other Blazers are healthy.
• The top TV show in America is American Idol with 24.825 million weekly viewers.
• New England bats are dying by the thousands due to a mysterious white fungus.
• There is snow on the ground outside, 3 or 4 feet in some places.
• The current temperature in Sackets Harbor is 18 degrees.
• The cheapest netbook at BestBuy costs $240.
• I am healthy and have no broken bones or sprains.
• My current weight is 184 lbs.
• I don’t have a Ranger Tab.

Here are some key predictions that will be true upon my return on or after May 1st:

• Bats will be extinct.
• GM stock will soar with news of their mass production of flying cars.
• Gasoline prices will hit record lows with the discovery human fat can be refined to make a high-grade octane.
• Exxon-Mobile will begin paying people to have liposuction, thus eliminating obesity, and putting Jared from Subway out of work.
• Kelly Ripa will just get hotter.
• American audiences will be stunned when Simon Cowell declares himself the next American Idol.
• "Lent" will finally be renamed "Lint", thus clearing up a lot of confusion.
• The Blazers will win the rest of their games, but will still finish second behind the Lakers, despite their losing every player except Luke Walton.
• Freedom of Speech will be declared unconstitutional, as the commies move into power.
• Sprint will reach deep into the jungles of Africa to recruit chimpanzees for their customer service hotline, which reportedly can do twice the work as humans, due to their ability to use their feet hands.
• The hockey season will be cancelled due to global warming.
• I will have 3 broken toes and 1 broken spirit.
• I will weigh in at 153 lbs.
• I will have a Ranger Tab.

Upon my return, I will crack open this blog capsule and see how much of it has come true (probably not much) and how much is complete garbage (likely the majority). I hope everybody has a great March and April. Peace!

It's a Sailboat

I painted a sailboat. One of these days I'll get around to my ultimate goal of sailing from New York to the Mediterranean, but for now I'll have to settle for painting them.

Freight Train

My mom used to play this song when I was a kid. I still remember that riff vividly after all these years. Some day, I'll hop a freight train and just ride. Word.

My Little Week

Hello all!

I had a 4 day week! I didn't work last Monday AND I have a 4 day weekend next weekend! Life is good. I have been at this blog thing for over a year now! Exciting. I'm gearing up to go to Ranger School. I won't have a phone or computer for 2 months. I hope you all forgive me. I've started swimming in the mornings! I'll go into work an hour early to swim and then do my normal run/pushup/situp bit. I'm still a weak swimmer though. I use the flippers most of the time. But it's okay! Nobody else is at the pool at 6 in the morning. Anyhoo, here are a few more paintings; "Fanfare", my "Colorful Tree Collection", "A Tree", and "Not Quite There":

Hang In There Jack!

Is there anybody else out there that is as concerned as I am about the well being of Jack Box? On Super Bowl Sunday, Jack got hit by a bus. Very unfortunate. It's been all over the news... mostly during the commercial breaks, actually. I have spent two restless nights tossing and turning to the idea of a world without Jack's curly fries greasy tacos. I'm sure I am not alone in hoping that Jack does not go the way of Humpty Dumpty. And we all know that Jack's head bears a startling resemblance to a large egg. Would you all join me posting an encouraging note or video onto Jack's recovery website at http://www.hangintherejack.com/. Here's an old pic of that big-headed mofo: